![]() ![]() But strip it away and it's just a slightly annoying hack 'n' slash RPG, but hey, too many games these days are about scowling, serious tosspots with so many brooms up their arse they could lean against a wall and call themselves a cleaning cupboard, so perhaps humour is enough. I guess a recommendation for DeathSpank depends entirely on whether you feel a game can be carried by humour, because there's certainly a lot of that. And it doesn't take long for the hilarious food-eating noise to start grating when it sounds like a dog eating watermelon next to your ear while discussing his favorite arsehole smells. Here is a man in dire need of a foam dome full of beef casserole. ![]() That's why it gets more and more irritating to have to sit and eat food to restore your health every ten seconds, since attacking or being attacked at any point while eating makes DeathSpank throw his lunch, unfinished, on the ground. Otherwise it's extremely hard to escape a battle without losing health when you're surrounded by little yappy murderers who look exactly like the crisps packets all over the floor. The largest enemies are actually far easier to kill, because you can tell the difference between when they're raising their arm to attack or when they're just pointing out an interesting cloud to a friend, so they're easier to counterattack. It's got the Dead Rising problem of assuming that everyone either owns a six-foot TV, or sits right in front of it with their forehead Superglued to the screen, and all the text and details are smaller than a gnat's tit. It'd just be nice to be able to read the fucking things. Every character has a funny dialogue tree and every item has a funny description. ![]() DeathSpank is that particular breed of parody that basically just does all the same things as the kind of thing it's parodying, but occasionally points to itself and goes: "Hey, everybody, look!" (Then the Wayans brothers make a parody of that full of bodily fluids and pop culture references, and the collective IQ of the general public drops another precious notch.)ĭeathSpank is a game that's all about its flavour text. You are the stalwart hero DeathSpank you have come to a faraway land of fantasy in order to acquire the mysterious artefact known only as "The Artefact", and do your bit to help the downtrodden along the way, with most of the downtrodden all needing the kind of help that involves killing strangely specific numbers of certain kinds of monster. Just in case the title hasn't told you everything you needed to know yet, DeathSpank is more like Diablo mixed with hack 'n' slash and marinated in Monkey Island overnight, which makes sense, because it was served up by the same chef, Ron Gilbert. We're fortunate to live in a time when it's never been easier to get exposure for new and innovative ideas, and I'd like to grant a little more exposure to two recent XBox Live Arcade titles, starting with DeathSpank, a Diablo clone.ĪAAAAAAAAAAA. The saying works better if you replace "money" with "rich businessmen in tight suits who won't even put twenty cents in a gumball machine if they can't expect a return of investment" and "evil" with "bland, samey action-adventure clones kneeling on the bed of a dried-up watering hole licking the dirt for moisture." (And "is" with "are," if we want to be grammatically correct.) It's hard to find innovation in big-budget, mainstream games when you can't make a single design or suggestion without triplicate proof that Gears of War did it, and this illustrates the important of independent development. Hitler was being impregnated by a roll of Deutsche Marks. ![]() They say that money is the root of all evil, but somehow I doubt Mrs. ![]()
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